Our 100% recycled coffee is in high demand in our neighborhood. Perhaps that’s because no other coffee is available. Having been brewed by several generations, our coffee has a thin but grainy, or thick but grainy texture depending on how much water you add.

Trust us. Nothing says, “What the hell?” like a cup of g.d.i. Monday’s coffee at the end of a miserable day. Just we you thought it couldn’t get any worse, HSM* will always find a way to prove you wrong. And nothing lowers your expectations like g.d.i. Monday’s 100% recycled coffee. Served hot or tepid, the taste will linger at the back of your tongue for hours.

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Sadly, we are backordered until 2025

But that doesn't mean you can't gift g.d.i. Monday’s 100% fully recycled coffee to your friends, family and coworkers who constantly disrespect you day in and day out. Follow these simple steps and you can offer them an experience from their (most-likely) final destination.

How to make your own Monday’s 100% recycled coffee

  1. Buy one 23 oz can of coffee. It doesn't matter how cheap or bad.
  2. Dump the contents into a storage container, or even a paper bag.
  3. Save the grounds after brewing in the original can. (This is actually how we acquire our recycled coffee, but we save you the extra steps. Except when we're back ordered. Which we are. Demand is high in hell.)
  4. When can is full print the attached label on your inkjet printer.
  5. Wrap label around can and scotch tape in place.
  6. Cover with cellophane and secure with rubber bands. (Duct tape if you don't want it to spill, but then you ruin the label and the gift isn't quite so fun.)
  7. Place in a gift box and wrap accordingly.

This make take a little effort, but it’s no less than the effort we put into every can of Monday’s 100% recycled coffee. And after years of being told how you screwed the pooch or will never measure up, won’t it be worth every minute when you see their faces light up after they reach into your gift box. g.d.i. Monday: because today is the worst day of the rest of your week. Or life for that matter.

*His Satanic Majesty. But he preferes his informal title His Satanic Majesty Lucifer of the Morning Star; Ruler of the Lower Dimensions of Darkness; Proprietor of His Satanic Majesty’s Hall of Everlasting Damnation, Torture and Never Ending Decay; and Sovereign Lord of the Devoted Knights of His Satanic Majesty Lucifer of the Morning Star (HSMLotMSRotLDoDPoHSMHoEDT&NEDaSLotDKoHSMotMS).